Harold: Remember, you're on your own. Harold: (to audience) He's always been good at staring off into space, so... Red: I either have a plan, or I'm an idiot. Red Green regular Wayne Robson dies. Red: Sometimes I get to thinkin' / About all the mistakes I've made / All the people I've hurt / And all the bills I haven't paid / Sometimes I get to thinkin' / I should change and get on the ball... / But then I turn on the ol' TV and I don't get to thinkin' at all. — D20 Modern rules on duct tape. Do you think that everything on television is a load of bad stuff?" Red uses a frozen turkey as a toboggan return. Harold: I want to talk to old guys about telling stories that nobody wants to hear. — The Sims 3 (description of the "Duct Tape Rigger" rank on the Inventing career path) Every problem in the world can be fixed with one of two items. . Red's nephew Harold Green (Patrick McKenna) pleads with the judge for a change to the time limit and she agrees - she makes it ten days instead. Remember, I’m pullin’ for ya! Red: [Being dangerous is] what gets the juices flowing -- the adrenaline, the testosterone, the hydrogen peroxide... Red: Isn't this great? Red Green Show Trivia Questions & Answers : Television Q-T This category is for questions and answers related to Red Green Show, as asked by users of FunTrivia.com. Best Horror Movies. Ranger Gord: Beer. The enemy is at the gates…heck the enemy may even be named Gates. Red Green: (repeated line) ...the handyman's secret weapon, duct tape. Well, I salute the effort. Red: This is something you play at parties... Saved by Jessica Cocker. He hosts with his nerdy nephew, Harold. I prefer to use the term 'a load of bad stuff'. Info. [Audience laughs and the angle of the camera shifts to the right]. Red: (closing line of each Mid-Life Musings segment) Remember, I'm pulling for you. Top 200 of all time … Recommend to … Harold: If you are met with cold stares, don't tell the story! "Duct tape is not a perfect solution to anything. Thanks for your vote! [He gives everyone 2 thumbs up and with a high pitch voice and says] RULES! The Red Green Show Quotes. SUBSCRIBE NOW Red: The building you were in when you were married. “If the women don’t find you handsome, they should at least find you handy,” says the star of "The Red Green Show." Harold: You know in Hollywood they actually have a system for telling stories. Trust me; we're willing to wait for the video. All Lodge members: (Reciting the "Men's Prayer") I'm a man, but I can change, If I have to, I guess. Shopping. But I’m here to tell you that the battle is over…and we lost, baby! Red: (closing line of each show) Keep your stick on the ice. Everyone panics when the Lodge runs out of duct tape and the local hardware store is back-ordered. This page has been listed as needing cleanup since, https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=The_Red_Green_Show&oldid=2917718, Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License. Trying to teach the viewers how to make excellent and useful crafts, as well as give marriage advice, from their home at Possum Lodge. Red: This is an animated character. Mike: Long gone. Add : Red Green Suspenders Our Price: $14.95 . Look at your roof. He is seldom seen without his trademark red-and-green suspenders and Canadian military field manoeuvres cap. Kevin Black: But if you did go to a Japanese restaurant, what would you eat? Mike Hammer: And today's winner will receive a new house... roof... shingle. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Harold: Don't launch right in to the two hour version you know, see if you can get their attention like uh, you know. Red's wife Bernice is The Ghost on The Red Green Show, but she actually appeared onscreen in the show Me And Max played by Steve Smith's real-life wife Morag. The Red Green Show Duct Tape Picture Quotes Weapon Actors & Actresses Movie Tv Cow Tube Nerd Dream date.....I miss the Red Green Show! Red: Oh, the mountain is high and the valley is low / It's the laws of nature that make it so / If the valley is high and the mountain is low / You're either upside-down or drunk, or both. It's good to focus on the fundamentals and work your way upwards in the inventing industry. Red: Well, yeah. The Red Green Show is a Canadian television comedy that aired on various channels in Canada, with its ultimate home at CBC Television, and on Public Broadcasting Service (PBS) stations in the United States, from 1991 until the series finale 7 April …, The cardinal work of charity is not by the number that counts, but by…, A broken home is not a broken life. Red Green: You’ve probably heard them say that ‘to err is human, but to really mess up you need a computer.’ I’m actually old enough to remember the years B.C. Red: Things don't improve with age. Dalton Humphrey: KFC! Red: (closing line of each Handyman Corner segment) If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy. We're all in this together. Movie & TV guides. Look in the mirror! If playback doesn't begin shortly, try restarting your device. Red Green is a bearded Canadian carpenter who's really handy with his hands and can find great uses for duct tape. [Harold points to the screen, then folds his hands palms down]. Red: I could be a great astronomer, Harold! Accuracy: A team of editors takes feedback from our visitors to keep trivia as up to date and as accurate as possible. Red: Invented what, Hap... crap? Red: (opening line of each Repair Shop segment) If it ain't broke, you're not trying. Red: Sex? Red: Younger than 20; older than 12. Red: Aha! Kevin Black: They don't let you do that. Red Green: I don't go to Japanese restaurants. Harold: A professional with a concise premise of one or two sentences, something like: Harold: "A meteorologist and his ex-wife chase tornadoes around the Midwest; and a bunch of special effects happens. Yeah, it's all crap, as far as I'm concerned. Red Green: (repeated line) ...the handyman's secret weapon, duct tape. Add : Possum Lodge Crest Our Price: $4.95 . Dalton Humphrey: [coughs and clears throat] All Lodge members: (Possum Lodge oath) Quando omni flunkus, moritati. Red: Why do you have such a negative attitude towards the festive season, Dalton? The Red Green Show was a Canadian comedy show that ran on CBC and PBS from 1991 to 2006. Mike: Could you be a little more specific? Red Green's Man's Prayer: "I am a man. This show, for those who are not familiar with it, is the amalgamation of comedy, handyman, and personal counseling all wrapped up in duct tape and presented by the backwoods host Red Green. Mike: Father. 18. See more ideas about red green, the red green show, green. Wayne Robson, the veteran Canadian actor perhaps best known for playing a sticky-fingered former thief on The Red Green Show, has died at the age of 65. Tap to unmute. Discover and share Red Green Duct Tape Quotes. Red Green - Duct Tape Forever Quotes. Quotes.net. Red: If your wife had kids, you would be...? You see, they a little bit of the story to see if people are interested. Dalton Humphrey: Trump? Red: Men who need glasses sometimes make passes at women who are already their wives. Harold Green: (reading a letter) "Dear experts --" la la la -- "I find that everything on television is a load of crap. Add : Share your knowledge of this product with other customers... Be the first to write a review. The palm pilots have landed. But with a little creativity, in a pinch, it's an adequate solution to just about everything." It almost makes me sorry I invented it! Blog: Sometimes I think of things that would never occur to Red: (opening line of each Repair Shop segment) If it ain't broke, you're not trying. His farewell tour comes to Phoenix. [The studio audience laughs, while Harold has his usual smile showing his top teeth like a beaver. red, green, pbs, funny, meme, duct tape. Harold: You older guys... you might want to try that. -Red Green. Red Green: Spare the Duct Tape, Spoil the job. [Harold giggles, making motions with his hands.]. Hap Shaugnessy: Yeah, I agree. Web. Look at your truck. Red: A horse with a horn is called a unicorn / A horse with stripes is called a zebra / A horse with wings is called Pegasus / And a horse with a broken leg is called glue. The Red Green Show is a self-proclaimed parody of many country fishing and handyman TV shows. Related quizzes can be found here: Red Green Show Quizzes But, you know, as for the two hour version is concerned. Edgar: Spin the grenade! Apr 29, 2013 - Explore Kristen Bancroft's board "Red Green", followed by 1680 people on Pinterest. Duhuhuh (to emphasize a dumb old man)". -red green. A broken promise is not a broken…. Harold: Then if they like that, you can go into the full-blown screenplay. Harold: The next time you guys go to the mall, and you see a bunch of teenagers out there talking about something interesting like the new Alanis Morissette CD. Harold: Okay so, and you know it reminds you one of your [making quote marks with his hands to sarcastically emphasize]"Amusing stories". Red: What word comes to mind when you think of bone china or crystal? Harold: Mr. Dalton Humphrey, you have 30 seconds to get Uncle Red to say this word- [giggles nervously, too embarrassed to say the word himself, but does point to it on the card] and go! Red Green: That's why I don't go! 22363. Duct Tape Forever Director's Cap Our Price: $8.95 . People TV/Movie Quotes Women As Red Green in “The Red Green Show” You need only two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape: if it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40; if it moves and shouldn't, use the duct tape. The Red Green Show Steve Green Hysterically Funny Favorite Tv Shows My Favorite Things Men Are Men Family Humor Great Memories Home Repair The title character of The Red Green Show, Red (Steve Smith) is the leader of Possum Lodge and a self-proclaimed handyman who is constantly extolling the virtues of duct tape ("the handyman's secret weapon"). Add : Handsome/Handy T-Shirt Our Price: $14.95 . This page was last edited on 21 January 2021, at 04:45. The Red Green Show. Copy link. Red: If your wife's having a good time and you're not, you're still having a better time than if you're having a good time and she's not. Red: Well, yeah, if you insist. Just like your...? Harold: See how they do that? Red: If you can't stay young, you can at least stay immature. The cult PBS comedy The Red Green Show stretches into a feature film with Duct Tape Forever, still very much about a batch of underachieving Canadian men and their high church of low expectations, the Possum Lodge. Dalton Humphrey: Shoplifter? Harold: [He does his old man impression and says]"Duh (Did I) tell you kids about the time I stepped on a birthday cake? Red: (as he duct tapes a spare tire to the flat tire) This is only temporary, unless it works. 22362. red green: If women don't find you handsome, they can sure find you handy. Movie & TV guides. Harold: Yeah, if people like that, and only if they like that, you can go on to tell the treatment. You're signed out. Harold: [Harold pointed his hands at the camera] If they are interested, and only if they are interested, go on with a little bit longer version. Red: Oh, hats off to my science teachers / They were absolutely right after all / 'Cause I just threw a fridge off my roof / And cold air definitely falls. "The Red Green Show Quotes." Harold: Except for this show. We've got no overhead! Dalton: Gee, you should come by my house Christmas morning. / Oh, your head is connected to... nothing... / Which explains a lot. [The audience laughs while Harold has the right eyebrow raised while he had an open mouth smile that made him look like an idiot.]. Edgar Montrose: Oops! Red Green — ‘If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.’ ... Red Green > Quotes > Quotable Quote “If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.” ― Red Green Read more quotes from Red Green. We lost big time! Harold: You've got no inhead! Red: Trapper Jack was hunting bear / A dangerous hobby at best / We brought him back to the doctor in town / And he was a heck of a mess / There was some assembly required / Mostly teeth and bones and hair / Jack had always been good with a knife / But unfortunately, not quite as good as the bear. Red: (closing line of each Mid-Life Musings segment) Remember, I'm pulling for you. Red: Um, OK, but this has no taste to it. Duct Tape Forever Director's Cap Our Price: $8.95 Man's Prayer T-Shirt Characters bound with duct tape must make a Strength or Escape Artist check (DC 20) to free themselves." Red: (closing line of each Handyman Corner segment) If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy. (Translation: When all else fails, play dead.). 9 Mar. Red: This is a family member, Mike; the man who slept with your mother. Red: This is what normal people drink. Red: Let's say your wife is planning a fancy dinner-- But I can change. Share this quote: Like Quote. Red Green: Be generous with the duct tape, you know; spare the duct tape, spoil the job. [holds it up]. There are no approved quotes yet for this movie. Red: Oh, you never see a vampire with a full-grown beard / Yet a vampire can't see his reflection / So a lack of facial hair is unbelievably weird / 'Cause you'd think shaving would be out of the question. Then yule see. 2021. Rested and always ready, The Red Green Show continues to bring smiles to audiences across the country. Dec 26, 2018 - Explore Brian McKinney's board "Red Green", followed by 814 people on Pinterest. Red: Oh, your hands are connected to your arms/ Your arms are connected to your shoulders/ Your shoulders are connected to your body / Your body is connected to your head. Harold: And it's just like a little longer version with more details. Over the last few decades, computers have slowly but surely taken over every aspect of our existence, and there have been a bunch of us who have fought it every step of the way from punch cards to PC’s. And it could have been so good too, that's what bothers me. “Be generous with the duct tape,” said Red Green, host of the classic The Red Green Show. There are no approved quotes yet for this movie. [Impersonating an old man with a deep voice and sounds like a dumb person], Harold: "Uh, you uh know one time I uh had to change a tire in the rain, on my way to a wedding." Red Green - Duct Tape Forever Quotes. We're all in this together. We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. Kevin Black: They don't serve pizza. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. See computers were in their infancy back then, but like most infants, they eventually grow up to be teenagers and then take over your life. ‘Before Computers.’ Back then, the only use for silicon we knew about was from looking at pictures of pinup girls…which was also our introduction to the concept of ‘Virtual Reality.’ Life was a lot simpler when ‘boot up’ and ‘log on’ was something you did when you wanted to warm your feet by the fire. Don't push it. Red Green: I'd bring it with me. ], [Harold moves his hands leave the left hand above the desk, while his right hand is under the desk]. He is married to Bernice Green and does not have any children. Retroactive Recognition: Prior to his run on This Hour Has 22 Minutes, Gavin Crawford played a young gas station attendant Red … Harold: Say for instance you have a movie idea, I got lots okay, but you know anyway. See more ideas about red green, the red green show, red. 'Cause usually you have a plan and you're an idiot. Red: (closing line of each show) Keep your stick on the ice. We’re all in this together! Harold's Monologue to Rambling Old Men (2:01 Minutes). Kevin Black: What would you eat at a Japanese restaurant? Red Green: Pizza. Harold: That's good. "[He wiggles his fingers trying to help visualize the story, and then he giggles.]. Lay down your arms and get Carpal Tunnel Syndrome like everybody else. Donald... All Lodge members: (Possum Lodge oath) Quando omni flunkus, morit… Program Info “Spare the duct tape, spoil the job!” – Red Green. If I have to. A great memorable quote from the The Red Green Show movie on Quotes.net - Red Green: Be generous with the duct tape, you know; spare the duct tape, spoil the job. Best Horror Movies. It's all crap. Hap: No... television! Bob Steuyvesant: Motel 6. We truly appreciate your support. That's it an entirely like two hours! Very wacky. Anyone: It's time for the Possum Lodge Word Game! Add : Man's Prayer T-Shirt Our Price: $14.95 . Red Green: Insane. Ranger Gord: American beer? Duct tape is a must-have tool for every inventor. Move on, pitch out another idea!